I've been a Midlands fan for nearly ten years. Way back when the Midlands Meander was-to the untrained outsider's eye-a motley collection of cranks, swanks and swine farmers, I met Simon and Megan Kerr of Cranford Country House. I stayed over for some port and met their neighbours. I stayed yet another day and met the people from across the highway. By the end of the week I wasn't going anywhere. So I stayed on and met all the potters, bakers and candlestick makers.

Since then I've made annual pilgrimages to this area, which now boasts more than 140 Meander members and has become one of the jewels in South Africa's private tourism crown. I've sat around winter log fires in the Midlands, staying up far too late and telling very tall tales. I've visited in summer, when it feels like London in May, and captured the glorious dawns in the valleys on film. So, hop in. I know whereof I speak. You are guaranteed to have a good time...

We'll go the Curry's Post way, adroitly avoiding the dreaded Cranford because we will get waylaid and it's far too early for a yard-arm stopover.

Instead, let's pull in for some morning tea at one of the finest establishments on the Meander: Old Halliwell. In fact, as you walk around the manicured grounds and peep into one of the exquisitely furnished bedrooms, you might well want to halt right here, stay the night and let me pick you up tomorrow. But drink your Earl Grey, down that jam scone, we have a-ways to go. You can always come back.

We duck in here at Groundcover, where I'd like to introduce you to a friend, Justin McCarthy. Scratch a hippy and you'll most likely find a capitalist, I always say. That's Justin, one of the famed Durban McCarthy clan, who "dropped out" in the 1980s and began making shoes for a living out here. Today, Justin exports fine leather goods overseas. In fact, a businessman offered me a fortune at Johannesburg International recently for my satchel, made at Groundcover. I told him to go off and buy his own.

Justin's other passion-besides his immediate and extended work family-is mountain biking. Just log that in the memory, in case you feel energetic later. Sorry, I have to take this call. Oh dear, it's Mr Kerr. He says how dare we pass him by. Says something about trout for lunch and a new breed of beer on tap. There are a lot of rubber arms in this group today.

So we've had the bracing country lunch on the porch at Cranford, an old farmhouse with a very familiar feel to it. You're on your third whisky and I see I must strike quickly otherwise you might be Velcro'ed to this place. We have to move on to the town of Howick, to meet a master furniture restorer.

Here in Howick you will wander about the shop of Thabo Mhlongo, marvelling at the well-shaped lines of antique and cottage furniture, fashioned from mahogany, yellowwood, teak and rosewood. Yes, that hallstand will be delivered to your home.

From Howick, we cross the national highway to Durban (or Jo'burg, depending on which way you're pointed) on the Tweedie Interchange and stop off at the Mandela Monument. This is where, on August 5, 1962, Nelson Mandela was arrested. He would later be imprisoned on Robben Island. On December 12, 1996, the people of Howick conferred the Honorary Freedom of the town on President Mandela.

Taken your album photo? Let's go meet Ian Glenny, the mad potter, down in the Dargle Valley. The first time I met IanGlenny, he kind of snuck up behind me as I was admiring a peeling portrait of a glaring, tea-drinking dowager on the wall in his shop. Which led us to talking about old bats, and how we had both, after many false starts, finally ended up with famously wonderful mothers-in-law. Then he threw some clay for me and I ended up stumbling out of the place, arms laden with pots and lamps and a free ashtray. Ian's one of the best. And if you, for some strange reason, don't like potters and pottery, then how about his fabulously overweight Vietnamese pot-bellied pig?

We have to backtrack a bit, because I know you like cheese, so we're off to Lythwood Lodge and up to Swissland. If goat's milk is a little rank for your taste, there is cow cheese too. Sample a few slices, go ahead, just mind the billygoat nibbling at your coat. What? You want to stay and watch the milking? Another day, friend. We're going to drink beer with weasels now.

Mind the ducks as we go up the driveway to Rawdon's Hotel, home of the Nottingham Road Brewing Company. You're from where? Fremantle, Australia? And you know all about boutique beers? Well let me buy you a little something to take home: a Whistling Weasel Pale Ale, a Pye-Eyed Possum Pilsner, a Pickled Pig Porter and a Tiddly Toad Lager. In return, you can carefully mail me a six-pack of Dogbolter Ale once you get back.

I've arranged a very special sunset for you, at the establishment of one Peter Cooper, presently of Caversham Mill. This place only does lunches on certain days, but we've collared Pete and asked him to prepare something Greek, lamby and leafy.

Cav Mill is Peter Cooper's Mediterranean Dream come true. He spent a long time on the Greek island of Naxos getting the hospitality thing just right. Don't, whatever you do, ask him to play your Julio Eglesias CD for ambience. He might just add your name to the Wally List he has stuck up in the kitchen, where yuppies from Johannesburg feature quite prominently.

With the sound of the river rushing under the nearby bridge, and a few coloured lights strung up outside, Caversham Mill takes on the kind of honeymoon atmosphere that shy couple at the back have been looking for all day. And now that dinner is done and the yawns are upon us, we'll retire to one of the 40-odd hotels, guest houses and B&Bs in the district. And tomorrow I will arm each of you with a map and a hire car, unleash you all on the magical Midlands Meander (so you can do the bits we missed) and quietly slip off for an early ale at the Bent Arm Bar...

Johannesburg-based Chris Marais is a freelance journalist and editor.

The Route to Success

They flourish, they're happy and they make money out at the Midlands Meander. Chris Marais spoke to Simon Kerr, one of the mainstays of this remarkable tourism group, to find out what they're doing right in that part of the world...

"I will market my neighbour's business as well as I would market my own."

That is the stand-out quote from the Simon Kerr Bible Of Tourism. And this motto, put into practice, has worked excellently for the 140 members of the Midlands Meander, who now see more than R200 million (twenty million pounds sterling) turnover every year.

That figure is the envy of every private tourism group in southern Africa, from bush conservancies to whale routes to flower tours to national parks, wherever they might be.

You know the story, and it's not endemic to Africa: little establishments in a picturesque part of the world all fighting for the same group of clients, all offering the same set of pots, pans and broekie-lace bedrooms. It's often a small-town atmosphere, with carping and slagging-off and unnecessary competition.

What began as an informal grouping of five artists, potters and weavers is now a very strong marketing body that has pooled its strengths and resources-witness the large Midlands Meander map that you can pick up just about anywhere in the district.

Another important aspect of the Midlands Meander is the quality of variety. If I'm a lamb chop fundi, my neighbour's not going to be offering lamb chops on his menu. They've all found little niches out there in the country, a trend that has been fully backed by Simon Kerr, former chairman of the Meander.

But Kerr, a trained chef and recently appointed Director of Tourism for the Pietermaritzburg area, has bigger fish to fry these days.

In a recent keynote address to a gathering of academics in the province, he said:

"For tourism to survive, we need to have competent people in place, from grass roots to the highest echelons of government. I think the biggest hurdle is not enough training for everyone, from the waiters and wine stewards to the petrol attendants and supermarket cashiers, but more especially from government and quasi-government departments who find themselves visually challenged to see past the ends of their noses.

"We need to grow from the bottom up. You do not see thorn trees developing their canopies until they are well-rooted and stable."

Kerr called for special attention to be paid to the service industry, for a basic mindset-shift that would instil pride in those involved with tourism.

"In Italy, a man is proud to be a waiter. Here, we battle because we do not want to be seen as subservient."

It sounds like this Midlands chef has the right stuff to bring to a southern African tourism initiative...